I feel like most mothers have lost their temper with their children or have become frustrated with them from time to time. Along with the frustration comes the guilt of feeling that way towards our children. Have we ever wondered why we may be so hard on ourselves as moms? After all, everyone has a bad day every now and then right? That’s probably why you may be feeling guilty because as moms we are supposed to be practicing what we preach, but when our children are having a bad day, and they snap. How do we typically respond? Normally it goes like this. “Stop the attitude I am not dealing with this today.” So when are we going to deal with it, mom? When are we going to realize that sometimes there is something deeper going on behind the attitude? Just like with us on our bad days, when we react in a way that we shouldn’t a lot of times there is more to it then just irrational behavior. It’s the same way with our children. So what makes us so much better than them? If God and others show us grace on our bad days, then we should be able to extend the same grace to our children. It’s what we want them to do for us. So don’t they deserve the same? I would like to show you how we can extend grace to our children, just as our heavenly father gives grace to us. “But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6
1. STOP BEING A BULLY
I know that by saying this you may think this is ridiculous, however, what if God where to withhold grace from us? Would it be so ridiculous then? I’m not saying that children should not be punished for doing wrong things, however I think that how we handle the situation can make the world of difference. We don’t deserve God’s grace, and yet he has given it to us time and time again. When our children make mistakes, or say something that’s out of place instead of shutting them down find out what’s really going on. Give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe something else is happening and we just don’t really realize it. If God wanted to he could point out every little mistake we make and every wrong emotion that we have felt, and punish us for it, but God isn’t like that. He is full of love and grace, and mercy, and if we want to raise our children to be like Christ we should do the same.
2. BUILD A RELATIONSHIP
If you really want to know how to show grace to children there is going to have to be a relationship there. We wouldn’t understand God’s grace or our spouses if we did not strive to have a relationship with them. Be the parent yes, but be the friend too. It is possible to have both. God is both a God of justice and grace. He gives both, so we can too. It will also create a bond of honesty and integrity between you and your child.
3. SURPRISE THEM WITH AFFECTION
When your child is having a hard day. Surprise them one day by being there for them, and listening to them. Hug them and let them know that it’s going to be okay. It’s always great to know that sometimes when we mess up that the love is greater then the sin. Instead of constantly condemning your child and chastising them, and I know sometimes that is necessary, but every now in then be understanding, and let them know that all of us make mistakes sometimes. Teach them to change by showing them how to change what they are doing through love and kindness.
4. PUNISHMENT SHOULD BE THE FIRST OPTION. GIVE THEM A CHOICE.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Just like God gives us a choice to repent and turn away from the wrong choices that we make, we should do the same for our children. Don’t jump to the punishment alternative right away. Give them a chance to make the right choice. None of us deserve a choice, but God blessed us with that gift, so let’s bless our children with that gift as well. The reason why I have gone with the topic of grace is because I was not shown grace enough as a child. I made mistakes, but I feel like the small mistakes that I had made as a child could have been prevented if they were handled with more patience, and more grace. I do not claim to be the perfect mother, and I never will be. There will be days where I want to bang my head against the door, but that’s okay, and there will be days, when my child experiences similar feelings of pain too, and I want to be there for my child, and offer them the greatest gifts of all, love, grace, kindness, mercy, patience, gentleness, and self control. If you want to win your children’s hearts to Christ, then I have a theory that this way just might work.
I hope you all were encouraged by this post! If you would like to read more topics like this subscribe to my blog. And don’t forget to share it, or comment your thoughts in the box below!
XOXO, Lauren Smith Momma From Scratch.
Hey, my name is Lauren Smith, and I am a twenty one year old, military wife, mother, and lifestyle blogger. I typically write about topics such as Parenting, Faith, and Wellness. If you would like to check out my blog, I will insert the link to my about page, where you can read more about it. Thank you, for allowing me to be apart of this! Momma From Scratch