I can’t tell you how many problems I had in the beginning of my marriage for not being intentional. I got married and thought things were just supposed to happen magically between us. And that did not happen. The lack of intentionality between us caused us to drift apart, almost ending in the “D” word. Fortunately for us, we prayed our way through and God was more than gracious with us in restoring our marriage. But the reality of marriage is that if you are not intentional, a lot of negative things can follow. And we all want our marriages to work out; that’s clearly why we got married. To love and serve our spouses and bring glory and honor to the name of our Lord. But if we aren’t intentional about how we are loving and serving each other, I’m afraid we can’t really bring God glory.
In today’s post, I’m sharing 3 very vital things we need to be intentional about in our marriage in order to see it flourish.
*** This post may contain affiliate links that I receive a small commission off of. As an amazon associate I earn from qualifying purchases. I always appreciate any support to keep this site running. Thank you! ***
We’re just going to cut to the chase on this one and get it out the way! Number one is sex. Sex is something we need to be a lot more intentional about when you have kids. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s reality (speaking from experience here). I hate that we don’t talk about this as often as we should as Christians, because even the Bible speaks about this. That goes to show how important sex is in your marriage, and if you’re not intentional about it, you can easily open up a door for sin into your relationship. Two quick tips:
Husbands, understand that your wife gets tired running around kids all day long, cooking, cleaning, and working if she does that. Give her some grace! Women do not function like men. We don’t see you and quickly jump to getting in the mood. It doesn’t work like that for us, sorry to burst your bubble. You have to be intentional with getting her to want that intimacy with you. Prepare the mood from the moment she wakes up. Do the dishes for her. Take over the kids after work. Give her some quiet time to do whatever the heck she wants to do. That will not only show her appreciation for everything she does, but it will also make her want to serve you as well.
Wives, stop putting your kids as an excuse to not have sex. I’ve been there! I’ve put a million excuses about the kids just because I was tired and didn’t feel like doing anything but it’s not okay. I understand we function differently but that’s not an excuse. I know we have so much on our plates, but just as our husbands have to be intentional about preparing the mood/environment for us, we have to be intentional with mentally preparing ourselves to serve our men intimately. It might sound weird to have to “mentally prepare” yourself for it, but what I mean is, wake up one day determined to connect with your husband, fix yourself up before he gets home, get the kids to bed early, and enjoy the night together.
The husband should meet his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife her husband’s. The wife’s body doesn’t just belong to her, but her husband; and similarly the husband’s body doesn’t just belong to him but his wife. So don’t deprive each other, except by mutual consent for a while – for example because you want to spend time in prayer. Afterwards be together again so that Satan won’t tempt you to sin because of your lack of self-control.1 Corinthians 7:3-5 FBV
PRAYER & DEVOTIONAL
This one should be a given, but just as in the first one, it can be easy to sweep it under the rug and not intentionally make time to sit together in prayer and devotion. It’s hard enough to do it on your own sometimes so imagine having different schedules and trying to fit it in sometime in the day together. It can be difficult. Even in my own marriage, it gets missed sometimes. And when it does get missed, it shows.
A life without prayer and devotion already is a life of chaos. Add in your marriage, your kids, household chores and.. Yea. It’s extremely important to live a prayerful life so that the peace of God can come upon you and help you deal with the stresses of marriage and parenting but also to read the Bible together so that you may be guided on how to treat each other, as man and wife, and learn how to raise your kids in a godly manner. Sure, you can read plenty of books about this, but there’s no better way to receive the pertaining information and guidance than straight from the source Himself.
I have found that when my husband and I join together in prayer and devotion to God, we become stronger and more united. In turn, that unity, the love, the compassion, helps us steer our kids in the right direction as well. We are able to disciple our kids in a way that we both see fit, and our home just overflows with peace and joy. Who doesn’t want that in their home?
Don’t worry about anything, but take everything to God in prayer, explaining your requests to him and thanking him for all he does. Then the peace that comes from God, which is better than we can ever imagine, will protect your thoughts and attitudes in Christ Jesus.Philippians 4:6-7
I’m sure before you said I do, you used to date your spouse all the time. I did. We were always going out to enjoy time together, even if it was just to watch tv. But as we grew in our marriage, we slowly stopped dating and stopped getting to know each other. There were so many things that started bothering me about my husband and vice versa, and it wasn’t until recently that I understood the reason why we couldn’t get along in the early stages of marriage was because we stopped making an effort to go out and date.
Once we had kids, dating completely flew out the window. It wasn’t even a thing, to be honest and thus so happened, that we started having problems again. Once again, we couldn’t understand each other and everything bothered us about the other. But we quickly came to the realization that we had to take some time for mommy and daddy, even if that meant having a date night at home, while the kids slept through the night.
It ‘s called being intentional. If we were not to be intentional and come up with these little date ideas that may seem insignificant in the moment but are extremely significant, we would be going down the same road that we once walked.
Ultimately, everything we do in our marriage is not only for each other, but to bring glory to God. Our marriage is a covenant before Him, and the world knows that and the enemy is waiting to find a reason to throw his little darts to ruin your marriage. But as ambassadors of the Kingdom of God, we know better so we have to do better!
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, make sure to do everything to the glory of God.1 Corinthians 10:31
Check out these faith based books on marriage!
Did you enjoy this post?
Be share to hit the share button and save to your marriage Pinterest board!
What are some things you are being intentional about with your spouse?